Rhapsody

That day I learnt for the first time that the beautiful song that starts with Starry Starry Night was about Vincent Van Gogh.

Yes, I know, belated much.

I knew Vincent; he was the famous artist who became famous after his death. The man who left a legacy with his canvas and artworks, who cut off his ear, who was suffering from mental disorders.

But I did not know that it was him the song was talking about.

I used to think the song was beautiful, but now that I knew it was about him, the song haunts me. It plays in my head while I sleep, giving me dreams about a suffering of a man, who was battling with insanity every step of the way. It’s quite depressing in a way. But I suppose that’s how it is, isn’t it?

*

Someone introduced Esperanza Spalding to me today. I have fallen in love with a new singer.

*

I HAVE THE NEW WHEEL OF TIME BOOK!

The Memory of Light! A continuation of my beloved fantasy novel of all time. So so so so happy! Yeehaw!

Thank you for the beautiful present! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Am I a lucky girl or what?

*

The curtain is drawn and then at that precise moment a bird flew by. Just at that moment, spreading its wings and soaring above the concrete jungle, above the bustling roads. The sky turns a deep purple, gently, slowly. Lights twinkle, like the blips on a radar. Like the light in one’s eyes when you tell them you love them. Bright incandescent glow that means much more than it actually does.

You step back and draw the curtain and suddenly the view vanishes from sight. But how about the pain, the sorrow, the hurt? Can you step back, draw the curtains of your heart, those crimson red curtains that is warm to the touch because it has been stained by your blood and recuperate? Can you fully step out of the curtains and suddenly lights and birds come into your vision instead of a mass land of emptiness and sorrow?

The sky turns black and then there is nothing more.

Protected: Letter from a weary soul

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Recapping College

This to quote my good friend Jian Wyn aka Pochi:
Journalism is neither craft nor profession. It is a lifestyle.

Smart old Pochi. She hit the nail hard on the head. Today, while transcribing an interview, feeling sleepy without some coffee or tea and fiddling with my email, then I realised….crap, I’m a stereotypical!!!!

Sigh.

2009 and the decade gone by

Year 2000, I was stepping on the brink of teen years. And as I today, realise that a new decade has begun, I realised these ten years were truly the most important years of my life. In a space of ten years, I have changed so much that I do not even know where to start. I learnt about the beautiful aspects of human relationships, met wonderful people and pushed so many boundaries I never knew I could break in my work and career. As 2010 comes around, I find myself on the threshold of adulthood, kissing goodbye to every single thing I knew.

If I could sum it up, year 2009 was a year of firsts for me…especially in my career and my relationship. I learnt about developing and forming a strong bond with a person I soon grew to love the way I want to be loved.There are many things I wished I could have told my teenager self about relationships. In Time Traveler’s Wife, the main character taught his seven-year-old self all he needed to know about time traveling and the path he will take. I wish I could do that. I wish I could tell that seventeen year old girl of my past crying to her pillow on a broken heart about the importance of fighting your ego and opening your heart to let light in. I wish I could tell her that she was beautiful, smart and special, and that she had no need to fear her imperfections because once she loved herself, someone else will surely love her too.

Year 2009 also saw me starting my career as a writer. It has been exhilirating, frustrating and joyful all at the same time. I learnt so much. I learnt how to speak to strangers, how to carry conversations with strangers through phone calls, how to dress and make up, I learnt how to interview, how to ask the right questions. I learnt how to socialise at parties, how to work my way around a magazine. I attended my first fancy ball, worked hard for two magazines all by myself and soon, I find myself, inevitably….a working woman.

There are days when I find doors to my past….an oldies track playing on the radio, rediscovering a novel I once loved, meeting old friends, and I find indescribable happiness. But there are days these doors are completely shut to me, despite my efforts to mentally revisit them for a quick pick-me-up. That is when I pat the doors goodbye and move on forward, waiting for that door to pop up in my life again, its magic intact.

2009 also brought a more spiritual me into play. I find myself searching for an essence of holiness more frequently in my daily life, finding ways to communicate to the divine. This spiritual search has definitely enriched my life in a way I cannot describe, and for that I am very grateful that I am able to embark on this journey to find an answer to my questions about life.

2010 New Year Resolutions:

1) Be more alert about my health and lost two inches on my tummy. (Jog more, eat healthy and on time, get enough sleep)

2) Travel to Singapore one more time…or go on a holiday.

3)Put in more effort to dress and make up nicely than before, but watch that skin!

4) Make my money work for me.

5) Develop a lot of projects to enrich my portfolio!

6) To value my family and friends even more than I did before. I love you, all of my girls and boys.

7) To be a less shrewish girlfriend.

To bust a move at a dancefloor at least once. Maybe year 2010’s ball?

9)To be able to organise my time and schedule more effectively by discipline and implementation of routine.

10) To believe in God and all things good.

HAPPY 2010 EVERYBODY!

Dear JK Rowling,

I am sure you do not know a plain ol’ Muggle like myself but I think you should know what an inspiration you are to me. Last month, I was feeling lost and confused on what I am going to do with my path and I stumbled upon an unauthorised biography of yourself in this book sale. Knowing I have to seize it, I did. And I spent many days reading about your journey from to the current success you are. Then I remembered how inspiring you were…rising through hard times, but yet you remain an icon. Some say your tale have been romanticised, but who cares? The end is the means, and thanks to your creation of Harry Potter, you ignited a fire in me that I discovered again while tracing your journey in life. It was you who put that sparkle in my dream again, and I thank you profoundly for it, even if it was through an unauthorised biography!

I took my shoes out for a walk today

I took my new shoes out for a walk today. I opened the box, put aside the crinkly paper, dug out the stuffed papers on the mouth of the left side. And then I gingerly removed the papers on the right side. I slipped each on, and laced it up. And looked at myself at the mirror. My first Nike Air. Coolio.

It touched the pavement for the first time at 7.55am. I crunched it over gravel, thumped it past a napping kitten and stomped on green grass. As every light step my Nike Air takes, I find myself flying, flying, flying away until I touch the sky.

reaching for some stars

Christmas is approaching, which means there is a ton of work to do at the office. Everybody is busy at their desks attending to emails that take up quite a bit of time, or ensconced in paperwork. I can’t remember the last time I am actually sleeping without dreaming of work, but I can only assure myself that it will all end soon. There have been downs, which I will digress, because ultimately the joy of my daily duties fuels my work everyday. Across the space of one year, I am privileged to meet with so many people who have influenced me to snap out of my self-induced funk. What truly moves me in my line of work, is to interview people, day after day, listening to their stories and sharing it all with the world. From the entrepreneur who made his living entertaining his childhood dream in building watches reminiscent of science fiction characters to the creative artist always pushing himself forward to bring a new fresh perspective in the world of pop art, it is moment of interacting with them that left a mark in my life. I am certain they may have a vague, somewhat hazy memory during their interviews with me of me, but each and every one of them left an impression in my life. It is through them, I learn the spirit of human determination, anxious to succeed in the frantic rough-and-tumble world we live in. I have a lot of people that I admire I have yet to meet, a whole long list of them. Oh, where do I start? There is Oprah Winfrey, of course, and JK Rowling. I truly admire people like Lim Su Ann aka Pinkpau and Michelle Phan, who have made the world move with their passion and enthusiasm in pursuing the world around them. As each day goes by, and I build a long list of people who have made their name in their own way, I find myself, ever so slightly, even more conscious of the wall around me. Layers of them, box after box, all begging to be broken to claim the stars, moon and sun above. All waiting to be broken, to be shattered, to reach to the stars above.

Year 2009 in perspective

I have been mulling and mulling. I cannot believe it is the end of the year. We all do our mullings and thinking on a year gone past, and note all the things we have learnt and accomplish.

If I would have put a word to accurately describe my year in a theme, it would be a year of change that had completely bewildered me as much as it made me happy.

Ever since I entered the working world, life is in complete chaos. There was a stage of time where I only charged forward and forward. The need to achieve and achieve brings me a lot of satisfaction..until an advice from somebody slowed me down tremendously. I learnt to be much positive about things and retreating to my inner soul for advice in rough times. I learnt to stop expecting so much from myself, although that trait still comes up once in awhile.

Usually every year has one theme, but I have to say I have another theme also. Love. Honestly, I always heard random philosophies about love, but I never knew how it felt like until I felt it. I opened my heart to somebody last year and I never looked back. This year, I learnt so much about being in a relationship: the happiness and the struggles. To nurture a bond with somebody, the beauty of having someone who just understands and share the simple joys like traveling, movies and stupid quizzes together. Also, with my parents around, it is easier to have that sense of family lately. Year 2009 was a year of love, and I hope it will be for many years to come.

Protected: Incoherent thoughts

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On days like this….

….I am glad I am alive.

Though something can be done about the cough attacks though.

So many stale news. I call myself a writer but most of the stuff are gonna become stale. I was planning on a nice bday post…it’s already December…three months after. I wanted to talk about my anniversary, but then decided some things should remain private. I want to post up my pics of my trip to Singapore, but that’s already starting to stale too.

Come to think of it, I haven’t posted the second part of my Sydney trip last year. Mehehe.

Sad sad sad.

And so, I shall resort to a very sad way of posting an entry….

……………

by just signing off and promising a better entry the next time.